I have realized throughout my life that many people struggle with mental health at
some point. I personally have had my own issues with a lot of traumas shoved deep into
the closet, and I ignored it until I needed help too. This realization brought me to finding
out how much men will refuse to seek help. Many call it, “Stigma.” I believe with the
availability of care no person should feel so helpless as to take their own life. Especially
if they are worried about an outside image.
Therefore, I would like to share my own experience with seeking help. In this feel
free to judge me how you see fit. This will hopefully make someone realize it is okay to
have a bad day, week, month, or even year. My baggage runs deep so I will sum it up
for you in a shorter context. I was beaten as a child, then had deployment issues I kept
to myself for too long. Finally for big moments that bothered me. In my last year in the
Army my wife left me for another man. I felt alone and going through a transition without
any assistance. When I finally felt like it was too much to bear, I started drinking until I
hit liver failure. With no intention of stopping. I did not care who looked at me like I was
the problem or what I was doing with my life.
Right after I exited service I moved away from everyone I knew, almost as an
easier way to start again without anyone knowing me. Ironically though my demons still
followed. My close friend Adam called me and talked to me about his journey seeking
counseling and how it changed his life. I told him that I was not the kind of man who
talked about my feelings. Ironically, I was extremely wrong. I ended up hitting rock
bottom and needed someone. I reached back out to Adam, and he pointed in the right
direction, at the time it seemed like such a hard thing to do. Looking back now I realize I
made the right choice for my family. Especially my son, Marcus. I say all this not as a
pity me, but as a way for any man reading this to know. Reach out to someone, you do
not need to be suicidal or depressed. Just a good decompression with a friend will do
you wonders.
Finally, after years of feeling alone I have hobbies, friends, and family to fall back
on. Shooting with my friends, trying to run those drills just a few milliseconds faster, or
just trying to see how far out you can shoot with a specific caliber is something I really
find myself looking forward to. If you are in a spot where you do not want to be around
firearms, I also paint miniatures to keep my mind focused on something small and make
the loudness of the world go away for a few hours. The most of these things I have
talked about though, understand family is not always blood. Sometimes, the best
relatives are people you share hard times with. Talk to these people and remember, you
have been created to be so much more than a nobody. Psalm 139:14 reads, “I praise
you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that
full well.”
To end I would like to remember a dear friend. SSG Diego Ramirez. 3 rd Cavalry
Regiment, Charlie Battery, 1 st Plt “Raw Dawgs.” He left us on June 22 nd , 2019. Far too
soon. We wish you could see how many people live their lives in a way of remembrance
of a good man, and father. Call your friends and make sure they are okay. For anyone
out there who needs this here is the Suicide prevention Hotline. No one is judging you.
Just call 988, or 911. Everyone wants you to succeed.
